Trust me. I know it has been almost a year since my son Benjamin was born, but it feels like just yesterday. The sadness I feel when I think about it makes me feel like thia year was a total and complete blur. Like…. What happened to 2023!? lol
Well, anyways I will make another post about my postpartum because I definitely think please need to hear it. So many of us go trough such hard times post birth, and it is not talked about enough. To the point that not even my family understood completely what I was feeling, and where sometimes confused by my behavior. I’m OK now though yay!
Ok, so MR. Benjamin entered this world during lunchtime on February 2nd 2023. Pretty cute birthday date to be honest. Right before Valentine’s Day. His birth was great, perfect, and almost painless (thanks to my epidural ha!) Everything started the night before around midnight my water broke while I was waking up to go pee pee. As soon as I stood up It was a big gush of water, and I love how I was trying to “catch it” with my hands hahahhaha honestly, what was I thinking?
Right away David wakes up, and freaks out. We start packing, and I call my mom to come sleep in our room so she is closer to Adam that was peacefully sleeping in his room that is right next to us. You guys the way my mom was soooo excited, she started crying for real. I think we both didn’t believe I was having a baby vaginally after having my first baby via C-section. It is pretty incredible what your body can do.
I will say that I think the main motivation for my body to feel relaxed enough to have the baby in a good head down position, and my water breaking so seamlessly had a lot to do with me just not overthinking my birth. I just let it be what it would be. I also stayed pretty active going to the gym with a personal trainer, and going on walks. Tips I tried: Hibiscus tea, and daI was not dilated at all barely 1cm, so I was so worried.
We waited some hours to see if I dilated anymore, but my body was not working on it. We decided in the morning around 10am to do pitocin very low drip to see how my body reacted. Boom! around 12:30pm I was fully dilated, and was told to hold the baby in until the doctor arrived. LOL! What!?
Anyways, the baby was not waiting but miraculously the doctor arrived right when the baby was basically almost half way out. Everything went great, and I loved every second of it. Besides being nervous about the pitocin and the epidural (that I had to get because of the pitocin). Everything went beautifully afterwards, and only needed a quick small stitch.
I was released to go home a day later, and I was so excited to get home, and enjoy my baby with my family. The most traumatic event happened 5 minutes after arriving home. I went to sit down on the couch with my baby in my arms, and when I sat down I felt the biggest rip down there, and the pain made me scream.
Yep! I ripped my vagina stiches 5 minutes after getting home. It was HORRIBLE! Everyone thought I was just being sensitive cause I just gave birth and hadn’t been taking my pain medications, so I took some 800mg Ibuprofen, and basically lived like that until my 6 week check up. The entire time it was painful to even use the restroom, but I wasn’t sure.
At my appointment, they scheduled me to go back in 2 weeks, so they can perform a new suture where they have inject my vagina with lidocaine syringes! When I tell you that I almost passed out, I cried, screamed, and wished that I just was giving birth again instead.
We are here now. 11 months later finally writing my post. We are all good, and besides my horrible PPD. We are doing pretty great. Hopefully this will be the longest post I ever have to write ha!
Thanks so much for reading guys. Please leave any questions on the comment section.
Xoxo,
